You have hair down there, just like girls. Why all this preparation, you ask? And consider buying wet toilet paper, it really does help you stay clean throughout the day. While none of these things will entitle you to a blowjob, Let me reiterate:Or to put it a different way: no matter how much time and energy and money you spend in the pursuit of a blow job Receiving oral sex is nice. You probably run a wet bar of Irish Spring under your armpits every morning and, if we're lucky, maybe take a swipe near your unmentionables. See, guys secrete sweat and stuff down there, just like girls. Often they ask us to assume a particalurly demeaning position -- on all fours, say, or holding one ankle above our heads -- to get every last hair off.
That means I'll taste it less and won't have your semen coursing over my tongue as I spit it out. Listen while I compare the maintenance habits of me and you -- it'll only take a second and I'll get right to it, swear to God. It must be done every day, but it cannot be rushed. Wait, no, as frosting on the sex pie. I'm going to have to put my face in that. If you want to put your dick in my mouth, that is perfectly fine with me. And it's an area that never gets any sunlight or fresh air, just like girls.
Now that we've had this little talk, I hope our oral sex experiences can be positive for both of us. But it's just about how one goes about sucking a dick. If you have any objections to viewing images depicting men nudity, do not scroll down any further. When all is well, we scent our panties and go about our dressing for our big date with you, the super cute boy. See, that's where all the teeth are. This blog may contain images of male nudity.
No need to point it out. It's been great making out with you, a real live boy, on this couch for 15 minutes. Then we shave most of our genitals. There's just a few things I need from you first. Sorry to blabber on so long. Because guys like you -- don't blame me for presuming -- often live under the gross misunderstanding that their genitals do not stink.
We're not talking about anal sex here, are we? If comes up Irish Spring, perfect. We scrub our genitals -- front to back, inside and out -- every day under a high-pressure stream of hot water, using expensive soap designed to both moisturize and leave a pleasant scent. Essential oils can do wonders for a swampy dick. Anytime you think you might be perfectly clean, just rub a finger around your testicles and butt crack, then smell it. Il est très simple : on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. For a non-porn-star, I'm willing to bet this is about as good as you're ever going to get. Si la vue de mecs nus vous choque, ou si la vision ou la lecture de documents à caractère sexuel vous dérange, vous êtes priés de ne pas poursuivre votre visite.
But sometimes you may feel a tooth. . First, I would appreciate it if you would wash your genitals once a day. No need to freak out. It requires bending, twisting, squatting, stretching and sometimes a hand-held mirror. So don't read anything into that. That's the beginning and the end, am I right? We're talking about oral sex, about the blowjob you expect from me because you got me that Amstel Light at the show, when you totally could've just gone Coors Light.
The same goes for anal sex, should we ever find ourselves down that path in the future. That really embarasses me, believe me. But if I let you put your dick up my butthole, please don't freak out if, afterward, you discover a speck of fecal matter on your penis on our way to the shower. I can't, sadly, do anything with them as the Good Lord has seen fit to leave me all my teeth at this late age of 26 and I don't have dentures. Because the world is populated by guys like you; in fact I'm willing to bet there's not one man in the whole wide world who doesn't think he deserves an on-the-couch blow job the first time he makes out with someone, so fear not.
But you need to respect the fact that my teeth were there first. You piss and shit and sometimes it doesn't all go away, just like girls. About time you got a blow job from me. See where I'm going with this? You might think that's an easy task. See how easy that is? What you do is, stop putting it in other people's assholes. So don't think I won't do it.