I am a Therapist, surrounded by Therapists, but this is a deeply personal journey. It was an unrecognizable mixture of emotions. I have a book that gives very practical advice on surviving a suicide and starting over. I make sure my children know they can talk to me about any problem or bad decision. It's hard, and she doesn't know why they're doing it to her, but I know, but I won't tell her. The truth is, there was a dark side to David that cast a shadow on our otherwise sunny life — like a murky figure lurking in the background.
There was so much to cope with at first, paperwork, household matters etc…. We have a nice home, few financial problems and many close friends. She approaches her work from a person-centered perspective, always acknowledging the people she works with as experts on themselves. Thanks for listening and thanks to everyone who shared. It is very important to realize that everyone grieves in their own way, and there is no set time-line to get over the loss of a loved one. Anyone who knew us knew that we loved each other deeply and shared an intimate friendship that I may never know again. Suicide is a mistake that you can never come back from.
But I do think that maybe that is enough time that if I were a part of your inner circle I would be concerned and would want you to work with someone to start processing this pain hopefully in a way that is a little more beneficial for you. The feeling of abandonment is overwhelming. He killed himself in 2014, less than three months after he retired. He could no longer visualize a positive future for himself, and his fears dictated a new, delusional truth. Reading your story is like looking in a mirror.
Because of wonderful gift of caring, I had very small 3 pound baby boy. The why, the senselessness of it, the future without him, the sense of never feeling joy, the gaps he left in this world as a son, brother, uncle, nephew, husband and friend. I gave not gone back to work yet and I am off in medical leave due to the state of my grieving. This book is a must, it will help you to understand and bring peace and healing to yourselves. After four months of trying to nurse him out of his depressed state, the resulting new hypomanic personality change was a startling reversal. Am I fighting a losing battle if I stick it out to see how he feels later???? Not tangable like other diseases. We have legal custody of 2 grandsons that were 7 and 5 when they came to us.
We are the ones who are left behind, we are the ones who have no choice but to be brave and live out this torment without our loved ones. Depression does not develop overnight, and it does not go away overnight either. In addition to possibly not experiencing these in order you may experience these stages repeatedly over the course of your grief journey. He took 160 sleeping pills, and according to the autopsy, his lungs were full of fluid. But most of all knowing that our girls will never know what it feels like to have a father-daughter relationship. This can include talk therapy, medication and, in some cases, hospitalization.
Dear Mark, the above comment comes from a very young and amazing suicide survivor — my son. His family lives in another state and have not heard from them since the funeral. I took charge of my life, dug myself out of the hole of sadness, lost 25 of those 30 pounds, took an internship at a local pool hall, fell in love all over again and kept myself positive about everything life was going to bring my way. The grief that I am feeling is beyond description. I will stay strong for my husband and two girls.
. So so sorry for your loss, you can be yourself here, we all understand…. I have no future, only the present and some days are kinder than others! My son was in the hospital, and I just found my husband dead my his own hand. The day I found out, I went to the house where all my friends tended to gather, and was surrounded by the right amount of hugs, love and words of comfort. I am new to this site and board. Was I so selfish and self centered I never realized there was something wrong with Emile? If not then it can be selfish when you consider the facts.
I am reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of my first wife after her death. So there is a lot I have to live for…and although death has touched my life and it seems so awful and painful…there has to be another side to this experience that is not awful because everything in this world has its opposite. You might have a physical collapse or even consider suicide yourself. The loss sometimes is unbearable. For example, with the death of a beloved partner, for the first few months your family and friends are there and being supportive, but after a time they go back to their lives, leaving you with your thoughts and an empty house. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
We were taken to a room and were told he did not have a pulse upon arrival and had died of a massive heart attack. I went next door to my neighbors for an hour to have a burger when Chris came home. During this period, Z began to suffer panic attacks; he was restless, hopeless, sleepless, and convinced he was going to fail. I went down the hall about 45 minutes later and he was in the floor by the bed. He barely made it through Thanksgiving dinner because the anxiety was so intense that he could not sit still, or focus, or even carry on a normal conversation. Do I blame myself for what happened as many suicide survivors tend to do? I feel responsible, because he asked me to say something I could not say, and subsequently hanged himself. Yesterday as I was cleaning out a drawer, I found a 15 page love letter that my husband wrote to me back in 1993 when we were first together.