Q: What belongs to you but others use more? It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. Want to hear a clean joke? A: Because it runs through your jeans. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes. A: Put a bogey in it.
Samuel Butler I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke. A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Do I look like a fricking people person? Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Few women admit their age. Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you forget the question. Assassins do it from behind. Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?.
Compasses for the pioneers traveling west were their first new endeavor. Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog. A: Your name Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Nacho Cheese Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Q: Which month do soldiers hate most? A: Because he was sitting on the deck! What is a free gift? I'm excited to go home for the holidays because it's been exhausting finishing my own sentences all year.
A: a New Jersey Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune? Q: Why did the barber win the race? Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. The man who had fallen into an upholstery factory is now said to be fully recovered. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. No matter how hard I tried, I could not cut the mustard. I know because they told me. Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer.
What did one ocean say to the other? A: None of the rolls roles were good enough. One Line Clean Jokes One Line Clean Jokes offer you a sampling of one liners in several categories. A computer program will always do what you tell it to, and seldom what you want it to. Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? What is red and smells like blue paint? How do you define a will? Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Although they produced fine and accurate watches, the same was not true of their compasses.
A: To get to the second hand shop. A: Because is saw a lolly pop Q: Did you hear about the sick juggler? Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Sex is not the answer. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed? When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment. How is it possible to have a civil war? A: He wanted to get to the bottom. Q: What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? A: They take the psycho path. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system. Real friends help you move bodies. Every morning is the dawn of a new error. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? Q: Did you hear the one about the geologist? A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear? People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Never hit a man with glasses. Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? Because he had no body to go with. I said I was going to blame you.
You almost never have strap problems in public. Q: What do you call a computer that sings? How many of you believe in telekinesis? Q: What is heavy forward but not backward? Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. Q: What four letters will frighten a burglar? A: Tooth-hurty Q: What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump. I find myself using them almost every day. Get your dam fish here! It has the most stories! Q: What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Man delivers load of bubblewrap.